Merry Christmas!

Ours is indeed very, very merry!
We hope yours is too.
Love,
Shea, John Mark & Judah

JGP Week One

Proud mom and her bundle of joy

Strapped in and ready to leave the hospital

Chillin' in the swing

Napping in daddy's arms (daddy also very much asleep)

Getting kisses from Granny

Judah Griffin is Here!

Judah Griffin arrived Monday, December 17th at 5:40 p.m., weighing in at 8lbs 1oz and 21.5 inches long. Our world is forever changed!

Not a Christmas Program

We had Andrew Peterson's "Behold the Lamb of God" at our church Tuesday night. It was amazing!! The first part started off with Bebo Norman, Sara Groves, Andy Osenga, and Jill Phillips singing a couple of their songs. I would have paid money to see any of them separately but to see them all together in one show was great. The second half was a performance of the "Christmas" musical by Andrew Peterson. I have that in quotes because it is unlike any Christmas program that I have ever seen. The focus from beginning to end was God's plan of redemption throughout the Old and New Testaments, culminating in the birth of Christ. To be walked song by song through God's sovereign working throughout the history of man put the meaning of the holidays in perspective. Having a tree, presents, parties, etc. - all that stuff is fine - but it is so not the point at Christmas or any other time of the year. It was such a good reminder for me! The original Cds of the program are available for purchase at Andrew's website here.

Oh baby!

The last shower I had was just for my life group. It was so much fun! Who knew that my mom would be the entertainment without even being asked? And that the icing on the cake of this fabulous time would be the rendition of "Baby Got Back" by Catherine, Anita, and Amy! The shower just wouldn't have been the same without it. (Please note that I do have on a different outfit!)

Court shower

No, all these showers were not the same day - I just wore the same dress to all three! This shower was with my friends from court hosted by Diane and Susannah. Let me tell you they can throw a party. We had a ton of food and enough cake to feed the entire world. We also played a game where people had to guess how big I am using streamers. And I am still friends with them! (my mom did enjoy that a little too much!)

Trustee's Office Shower

I had a shower with friends from work as well, which featured the duck cake and some fantastic food! The bottom pic is most of the ladies from my office (and yes, I did wear the same dress to this shower).

Showering with Friends

Some of my closest friends gave me a shower back in early November at the fab pad of Melany Guzzo. It was a great mix of people - JM's family from Silverhill and friends from Schaeffer, friends from church, etc. My friend Beth even came all the way from Atlanta. I wanted to get a pic of all the hostesses together but my camera battery died so Carla is missing in these photos. Judah got tons of stuff (that I still haven't put away, but oh well!).

The Countdown begins...

We went to the doctor today for my 36 week check-up and my first exam in awhile. Dr. Barron said I was 40% effaced and Judah is still measuring pretty close to normal.

As I was driving to work after the appointment, my mind was racing. I still just cannot believe I am here. Not here at my desk at work but in the home stretch of this pregnancy. I wonder if it will really hit me when I see him for the first time - if that is when it will all actually feel real. I don't know if I am being this way just because we thought we might not ever get pregnant. All the meetings with doctors, fertility tests, blood draws, the bad news about the blocked and damaged tubes, constant peeing in cups, ovulation kits, the negative pregnancy tests, the struggle with the truth that getting pregnant might not be in God's plan for us, the 12 pregnancy announcements at life group by couples that we love dearly as I sat there and tried not to bust out crying - that hurt is a part of me and just didn't magically go away when we found out we were pregnant. Another couple in our life group announced last night that they were pregnant and for a second that feeling of hurt and disappointment showed up and I thought, "Wait a minute, idiot, you are nine months pregnant!" Get a grip, Shea.

I am still trying to process this whole sequence of events and grappling with what it all means. How does all we have gone through affect us now? I know that I have been changed by this whole experience but I am not sure how. And on top of all this is the fact that I am euphoric over the fact that, God willing, it won't be much longer till I see my son. He will be here in the flesh. My head is spinning!

I apologize now for the nonsensicalness of this post and for the fact that you now know how crazy a place my head is. Hopefully in the next couple of days I will post more pics from baby showers and of JM's most recent race.

Losing my mind

When I started seminary (almost 3 years ago!!!), I think I gave my brain more of a workout than it could handle for a while. While the parts of my mind that had been little exercised since my undergrad days got back up and running, I was doing all kinds of crazy things. I locked myself out of the house on multiple occasions, left the house without my wallet several times, and even got to campus and my first class one day only to realize I had left my backpack at home. Now that I am only days away (44, I think) from graduation, my mental problems seem to be reappearing. Yesterday, as I was walking from the parking lot to my first class, I realized I had on two slightly different shoes. I think I need to up my caffeine intake. (I can't believe I'm posting a picture of my ugly feet for the world to see!)

Judah's first shower

Aunt Mandi hosted our first baby shower Saturday night. She definitely knows how to throw a party! It was great to catch up with old friends of JM and me and to make some new ones. We also got lots of great stuff for Judah.

Baby on Parade

The next activity after the 5k is the parade. My father-in-law is the fire chief so I was very excited to hear that I could participate in the parade (no walking required). I was given the option of riding in the fire chief car (who can really see you in there?) and riding on one of the fire trucks. No contest there!

I was telling everyone that I was participating because of Judah - so I could tell him he rode in a fire truck in the parade. (I do blame him for it being such a tight squeeze to get me on the truck). But once I got up there, tossing beads and candy, it was on. All I was missing was a paegant wave and a tiara!

Fast Times in Silverhill

Our visit to the lovely Silverhill, AL (JM's hometown) in Baldwin County this weekend happened to coincide with the annual Heritage Day festivities. We had a big weekend. John Mark, his sister, Mandi, and their mom all participated in a 5K that morning. I told JM that I could walk it but he said I complained about having to walk the puppies around the block at home so I got vetoed. Thus, I was left out when all three of them received medals.

JM actually finished in under 30 minutes. I think that is pretty good for his first race of any kind.

Birthday, part 2

My best friend and my husband have birthdays three days apart. (Unfortunately, I am much better at remembering Julie's than John Mark's, but that is a story for another time.) Today is Julie's birthday.

Julie, you have been my person for so long now that I can't remember what life was like before we met. Even through all the changes over the years, our friendship is always something we come back to. My life is so much richer for having you in it. Happy Birthday!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, John Mark!!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday to my favorite person in the whole wide world and the bestest husband ever!

(And yes, you can remind me of this when I turn into the raving, crazy, pregnant lunatic.)

I love you!

Yea, John Mark!!!!!!!!

I think that I own Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages." I even think that I have started reading it once or twice, but never finished it.

Here's a synopsis:

"Author Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate believes everyone has a love tank, and that tank is filled by different love languages. These five languages are Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
Often, we tend to give love in the languages we are most fluent in, which usually ends up being the languages that fill up our love tank. This would be why a husband who does yard work, dishes, car maintenance, etc. (Acts of Service) is floored when his wife says "You never show me you love me. You never cuddle with me, or caress my hair, or make the first move for sex." (Physical Touch). Or, "Why don't you spend time with me? Why do you work so much?" (Quality Time). And, "Why don't you buy me flowers? Why don't you ever get me cards or balloons...just because?" (Gifts) Or "You never tell me what I mean to you. Why don't you ever share with me what I mean to you, or what my good qualities are?" (Words of Affirmation)"

I think that John Mark is beginning to understand that one of my love languages is a clean house. I walked in yesterday from work to vacuumed floors and clean bathrooms (this means so much to a big pregnant girl who spends lots of time there). I think I might have swooned a little bit!

All that to say, since I give JM grief on the blog regularly, I thought it only fair to take this opportunity to give him a shout out, thumbs up, high five, or however you want to put it.

Thank you, John Mark!

I've Been Set-up!

John Mark and I went to see Broadway Across America's Phantom of the Opera last night. This is actually the first time that the two of us have done anything that could be considered remotely date-like in months. It was good, but that is not really the point of this blog...

Let me give you the play-by-play of last night. I get home and immediately fall asleep. At some point, I wake up because I hear my phone ring and then hear JM talking on my phone. Nothing really unusual there. He comes upstairs later to tell me dinner is ready. I go downstairs and fix my plate, eat, and then go upstairs to change clothes for the show.

On the way to the BJCC, I ask him what he did with my phone and he tells me that he put it on the counter. Since I was not the last one to use it, I just accept this without question and move on. I borrow his phone to call my folks who are flying back in from Israel and leave a message.

We get to the show and I try to call my parents a couple of more times on his phone and then the show starts. It is a really good production and we are both enjoying it. They get to the scene where the Phantom has taken Christine down to his lair. He begins to sing "The Music of the Night" - the most famous song from the show. It is deathly quiet; obviously, everyone is caught up in the show.

Then it happens. Ever so faintly I hear a cell phone ring. It sounds like my ringtone but it is kind of muffled. My heart drops and I lunge for my purse. At that point, it starts ringing loudly! I am mortified. We are both attacking my purse looking for the phone as it shreiks in the middle of this dynamic performace by the Phantom. All eyes turn to us - looking to see who the idiots are who are ruining the show by having their phone on. You know the look - I have given it to people myself many times. John Mark finally yanks the battery out of the back of my phone and the ringing finally stops.

So what happens next? We get into a fight sitting in the middle of the performance about who put the phone back in the purse. He is positively sure that he did not put it in my purse while I am absolutely sure that I did not touch my phone after I got home yesterday. We are sitting as far away from each other in our adjoining seats as we can, both with our arms crossed, stewing at the other. It was a wonderful way to spend our evening after purchasing tickets and finally going on a date!

30 Weeks

Due to a low-lying placenta (which has now been resolved), we got to have another ultrasound Monday. Judah looked less like an alien and more like a baby - I cried the entire ultrasound. Here are my favorite pics!

Shea the Buddhist

No, maybe it is Hindu. But don't worry it is not as weird as it looks. There was a Baby Expo at the Galleria this weekend and I participated in a prenatal yoga demonstration. This was one of the many nice shots that JM took of the event that I could post, but I refuse to post one where my rear is sticking up in the air or my belly is poking out (and for some reason that basically covers the rest of the pics!)

So it was weird doing yoga in the middle of the Galleria on a Saturday but I am getting 1/2 off my water aerobics class which I really love so it was very much worth it!

Ode to the Accord

John Mark bit the bullet and sold the Accord, for which I am very grateful. I had been afraid between our two unreliable cars that one of them was just going to up and die on us and his car got sold just because it was older (mine instead got an expensive repair job).

So he has been in mourning since the deal closed. But I don't really get it. The car was a hundred years old and we've had to get it repaired multiple times. And the biggest thing, I felt like I had to roll out of it when I got out of the car (especially now). The back seat was way too small for people to ride in comfortably. And there was no way you were going to get a car seat in there. Now, he has an '02 Camry. It's not snazzy, but it's reliable. And you can eat a hamburger while you drive it (since it is not a stick).

But still, he longs for the Accord. I just don't get men and their cars.

28 Weeks

JM and I went to the doctor for my 28 week check up Monday morning. I had to take my sugar test and was dreading it - especially since they told me I couldn't have any food after midnight the previous evening. That was really the worst part of the whole test for me. By the time I got up Monday morning, I was starving, which made me feel nauseous when I couldn't eat.
When I got to the office, I had to drink this drink that was almost pure sugar. I picked the fruit punch variety. Everyone had told me how nasty it was and that they all almost gagged while drinking it. Fortunately, I like drinks that are almost pure sugar (must be from the Nehi's I had growing up over at my Granny's cause you know Shirley doesn't allow that kind of stuff in her house!) I was drinking it so fast that the nurse finally told me to slow down!
So then we had to wait an hour before they could do the actual test. I saw Dr. Barron and she said that Judah is measuring two weeks ahead of schedule. I don't really know what that means other than I am gaining weight fast at this point. We go back in two weeks for an another ultrasound to see if my low-lying placenta has moved up at all. I am just excited because it is another free look at Judah and maybe he won't look so much like an alien at this point.
So here's the kicker for the day. JM has been the most attentive soon to be daddy, going to all of my appointments and helping me remember questions I want to ask, etc. I went to the lab to get my finger pricked for my sugar test and in the midst of everything that was going on forgot one little oddity about my sweet husband. When we were engaged, he used to watch all these surgery shows where doctors would cut people's heads open because he thought they were interesting. Blood and gore, no problem. But when it comes to drawing blood etc., watch out!
The nurse was getting ready to do my finger prick and I look over at JM and he has on his ipod, and I didn't think anything about it. I look over again and he is slumped down in the chair with his head between his knees. Now mind you, we are not the only people in the lab and at this point everyone is starting to look a little concerned. So, he has to leave and we have to wait in the waiting room for him to recover.
I say this for two reasons: 1) just to tease JM a little bit, but then seriously, 2) to make sure that Julie has her bag packed. If he falls out in the delivery room, I am going to need some back up!

Hat's Off to Brandi Carlile & the Lady in the Red Polo Shirt

Last night we went to see Brandi Carlile in concert. It was a really good show in a great venue. Shea and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, but there was one woman at the show who was clearly a bigger fan of Brandi than we were. I must admit, we ended up watching this crazy lady as much as we watched Brandi.

Every song elicited from her many larger-than-life gestures and gyrations. She was a bundle of finger pointing, fist pumping, head thrashing energy. With every crescendo of the music, her body convulsed with delight. The best parts of the night were definitely her countless air-drum and air-guitar solos. This girl could rock!

Crazy lady with the long brown hair and the red polo shirt--I salute you!

Providence

I read about the death of John Piper's granddaughter this weekend and was immediately teary-eyed and nauseous. As we anxiously await Judah's arrival in 12 short weeks, I wanted to immediately go out and purchase a fetal heart monitor and keep 24 hour vigil until delivery.

The sovereignty of God is to me one of the most comforting and terrifying things imaginable. I am humbled and deeply impressed by the consistency of Piper's theology, whether talking about the I-35W bridge collapse or the death of his own granddaughter. Deep down I hope and pray that I never have the opportunity to display such a consistency in my own theology.

These words from his post disturb me deeply, and at the same time offer tremendous hope:

"This seems so preventable. By God and by man. Yes. So easy. But neither man nor God prevented this. Man, because he did not know it was happening. God, because he has his wise and loving reasons that we wait to learn with tears and trust."

Tears and trust. Tears and trust.

Wake me if I'm dreaming...

I think the song really says "don't wake me" but I am definitely for the opposite right now. Since I have been pregnant, I have been having the craziest dreams. I wake up in the morning just shaking my head. For example, last night's dream consisted of three parts:

Part 1: I am at a cheerleader competition with my high school squad. We are first up to perform but oops, we haven't practiced at all. So basically we sucked.

Part 2: (There are no real transitions in the dreams either). I am back at TSU for the first day of classes and can't remember what class I am supposed to be going to or where my dorm room is or anything like that. This is one that I have been having over and over again.

Part 3: Ok, this is the one that concerns me most of all. Jesse Jackson is at my house. I am not sure why but JM, JJ, and I are just chilling. That is just bizarre.

My pastor, Bob, has been preaching through Daniel and I am needing a dream interpreter of my own these days. Even I can detect the common theme running through the top two, but Jesse Jackson? That is just weird.

Big Baby Belly

Due to popular demand by those who are out of town and unable to gaze upon my pregnant grandeur in person, here you go. Yep, I can't believe I am posting these - the next set will be of my swollen ankles...

What's in a Name? - Part Two

I wanted to be able to post a picture of Judah's namesake when we originally announced his name but was not able to get a picture of my great-grandmother until this weekend (thanks, Aunt Pat). This picture is of my great-grandmother, Della Judah Carroll, and her son, my grandfather. She had black hair on the day she died (a trait that unfortunately did not get passed down to me or it would have saved me some serious Clairol money).
She lived in Ozark, Alabama and we would go down to visit fairly regularly. She had three sons and one daughter so it was always a fairly decent-sized gathering when we would all get together (But it could not compare to the Sasser gatherings in Slocumb with my Granny and her 11 brothers and sisters). My brother and I always liked to go to her house because she had an old shed in the back with all manner of things for us to get into until our parents would catch us. It is so neat that after all this time, I can still remember the sound of her voice. She passed away several years ago and my grandaddy will have been gone two years in December. I think that he would have been pleased with the name choice.

Hard Lessons for the Future Pastor's Wife

So, I go off to church yesterday thinking that it will be just like any other Sunday - a good time of worship and fellowship. It's amazing how God uses times like these to smack me between the eyes with reminders of His truth about who I am and who He is. Here's a little snapshot of "life lessons" I am learning (or He is trying to get through my thick skull.)

1) It is so not about me!
Many of you know how hard it was for me when JM told me that God was calling him to full-time ministry - okay, maybe hard is an understatement, I am talking weeping and gnashing of teeth. God has been faithful to confirm that calling by allowing me to see JM's growth and development as a teacher and leader. God has also used encouragement from the church to help both of us recognize that this is His path for us at this time. So, this week it finally happened. I was made aware of a negative comment that was made about JM's teaching. Many of you who know me can imagine what my initial reaction was. I wanted to send a blistering email or have a huge confrontation so I could "gently persuade" this person as to the error of their ways. I wanted to protect my husband from the harsh words - I wanted to protect myself. Thankfully, God was working in my heart while we were in Sunday School yesterday. He gently reminded me that this is going to happen - everyone is not going to agree with JM all the time or think that his teaching is the best thing ever. And I need to suck it up and get over it - I am not the point, JM is not even the point - God is the point, and His Word will go forth through JM, even in spite of JM! My fixating on it does nothing to encourage JM to continue to pursue the calling that God has for him.

2) God is enough.
Last night we went to the ordination service for Martin, one of JM's friends from seminary. While it was a joyful evening to be able to see the culmination of what Martin had been working toward, it was really hard for me. This call into ministry is serious business. You don't get to half-heartedly say "God I will agree to support JM in what You have for him" while planning your own steps. It is likely that we could end up leaving the church that I have been at for over ten years once JM finishes school. We could very possibly be leaving Birmingham where I have made my home for over ten years and all the friends that I have made and relationships that have been built. It sucks to even think about it. But I was reminded last night that God does not call us to a life of "comfort." For some reason, He does not always design His plans around what I want. That is so hard!! So I am taking baby steps, trying to open my hand to Him and let go of MY plans to follow what He has for me. That is the hardest thing in the world for a control freak like me.
Last night, I cried as we sang "Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken" -

Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken, thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition, all I've sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition! God and heaven are still my own.

Amen.

What's in a name?

I don't think we realized what a big deal naming our baby was until we found out we were having a boy. When it came time to actually settle on a name, the permanence of it all really began to sink in--whatever we decide on, our kid will live with forever. And while we are very appreciative of the many suggestions we have received (Rufus, Sean John, Nellie Pearl, and Jethro Tull), we eventually decided to strike out on our own. So barring any major changes of heart before December, Baby Patrick will be forever known as Judah Griffin. We will call him Judah, which has both familial and biblical significance. Shea's great-grandmother Carroll's maiden name was Judah. In Hebrew, Judah means "the praise of the Lord." Griffin is the last name of one of our favorite singers. Deciding on his name (and now telling the world about it) has added yet another layer of reality to this whole process (as did picking up the crib earlier today). We are continually amazed that we are in the middle of this process and continue to thank God for his gracious gift to us. WE CAN'T WAIT FOR DECEMBER TO GET HERE!!!!

Crème brûlée and constitutional rights

Greetings from Baltimore! Shea and I are here because she is attending a conference for work (another one of those "I get to play while she works" trips like this one). It's been a pretty good trip so far, but it is HOT! And now it is hot & HUMID! The first night we were here Shea had some work to get done before the conference began, so we decided to save time and just eat in the hotel restaurant (something we rarely do). Turns out this was a great decision. Not only was the restaurant really good, but it was also Baltimore Restaurant Week. Scores of restaurants in the city participate by offering 3 course menus for a fixed price. We had an amazing crab & corn chowder followed by a petite filet mignon and Maryland crab cake. They were all excellent, but the best part was dessert. I'm not ordinarily a huge fan of crème brûlée, but because my other choice was angel food cake with fresh berries (which Shea had and loved), I opted for the creamy, sugary concoction. It was actually a crème brûlée trio: a mini version each of vanilla, chocolate, and nutmeg (which, surprisingly, was my favorite). Each one was a 2 inch square of creamy goodness with just the right amount of caramelized sugar on top. I would go on to crave this dessert so badly that a mere 48 hours later, I returned for another portion. Only time will tell if I will be able to resist the temptation of having a trio of trios before we leave on Thursday.

So that's the crème brûlée part of this post--what about constitutional rights? Well, I've decided that free WiFi access should be a constitutional right (Actually, until this trip I thought it already was one.). Every citizen should be entitled to life, liberty and the ability to check his email and post to his blog without having to pay $9.95 a day! For some reason, everywhere I have travelled, I have always been able to bypass this pesky (and unreasonable) charge by simply "borrowing" bandwidth from someone else's less-than-secure access point. But not this time. Everything in Baltimore is secure, secure, secure and I couldn't find free access ANYWHERE. (Until this morning, of course, when I walked the 3 blocks to Panera Bread and had breakfast and enjoyed their always-free WiFi.) If life as a pastor doesn't work out, maybe I'll run for public office on the Free WiFi For All platform.

This Week's Yard Sale Finds

Yesterday, when I looked at the yard sales in the newspaper, I was none too impressed. I only found three around our neighborhood that were worth checking out, but one of the three did say "lots of brand new baby clothes." When you go to a lot of yard sales, you learn to take the ads with a grain of salt--sometimes people will say anything in their ad just to get folks to come out. Not the case with this one. When we walked down the driveway, we eventually found a huge bag full of baby clothes, all with the tags still on them. Turns out, the lady holding the sale used to work for GapKids and had a bad habit of buying all the cute baby clothes despite the fact she didn't actually have a baby. Now that she has decided to clean out her house, we racked up! We got everything that you see here for less than $1.50 an item, and amazingly it is all in a pretty good range of sizes from 0-12 months. (Now Shea is worried that no one will want to have a baby shower for us since it seems that we have gone a little insane--but I promise we have gotten it out of our system and will stop with the yard saleing--at least until next Saturday.)

Can you spoil a baby while he's still in the womb?

Somebody has been buying stuff for baby boy Patrick - and it wasn't me! Does the shirt give it away?

Pray for Beth

The girl in the middle is my friend Beth. We got to be friends through church when she lived in Bham. At one point, she and Michelle lived across the breezeway from me and Jules.

Everyone should have a friend like Beth. She is so much fun to be around, a really good listener, and has an amazing closet (I know that is not as important as the first two, but as the one who treated her closet as my own, I definitely enjoyed it!)

Beth lost her dad around 5 years ago. Her mom fought breast cancer successfully and then was diagnosed with brain cancer awhile back. Beth's mom went to be with the Lord Friday. Did I mention Beth is pregnant with her second child and due in late August? Please pray for Beth - that God would comfort her during this hard time. Her mom was amazing - I know that we all felt like Carol "mothered" all of us at one point or the other.

The Surreal Life

Yep, the alien looking thing up there is my baby boy. The ultrasound was one of the most emotional experiences I have had (not that everything isn't emotional these days due to hormones). Those of you who know me know that my excitement about seeing the baby was tempered with the equally frightening possibility that the ultrasound would reveal something wrong with the baby. After the technician began the ultrasound, it was about five minutes before she said anything. Five minutes of me trying to make out something human in the grainy images - five minutes of me hypervenilating as I thought that something was wrong and that's why she wasn't saying anything. Once she finally started pointing out things, she and JM start pointing and smiling while I am laying there wondering what in the world they were seeing that I was not seeing. It reminded me of those posters that used to be so popular, where you have to concentrate to be able to locate the image. I suck at the posters too!
So, then he starts moving. I start crying. I see arms - I see legs. He has a head, a brain, and a heart - my heart starts beating again. So then comes the moment of truth. JM said he saw "something" before the nurse even said anything. I still didn't see anything until she draws the big line around the little guy's man parts. The waterworks begin again. Out of all the images we got from the ultrasound, it turns out these are the clearest pics. But I just didn't feel that it was right to put his stuff out there for the whole internet to see!